Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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