Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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