There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
