i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
