Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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