i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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