Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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