Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Are we still banned from the library?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
