So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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