WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
