I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
