We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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