I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
