you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
