Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Can I color on your dick again?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
