I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
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she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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