You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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