Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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