That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
