Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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