Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
