these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
