After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
