so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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