You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize