you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
