I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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