that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Do vagina's smell?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize