Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We talked him into tasing himself.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
