nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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