you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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