a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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