Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
