I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
