I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
