There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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