i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i came on her dog
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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