Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
