I never want to see another naked old woman again.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
