He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
