8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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