i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
