what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
God, you're like boner-b-gone
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
