Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
