Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
