I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
