i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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