Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
