I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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