erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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