After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
