More tranny stories later!
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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