I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
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It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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