I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
