The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
