He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just found a bag of teeth...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
