hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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