You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
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When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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