i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
