well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
