I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
