why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
